Her
by Dalek's Anonymous
Summary: I spent my life lying for she was all there was. Oneshot


Disclaimer: I do not own naruto, if i did i'm sure i wouldn't spend my time writing fanfictions

To Hari

* * *

I had spent my life lying to everyone, when looking back on my life I couldn't help but wonder what parts were lies and what parts were truths, all had become melded together and I could no longer distinguish between the two.

It also started when I met her.

I remembered seeing her crying by herself, I had never been bullied before, most of the kids were too scared of my father to even think about doing it, she didn't have that luxury coming from a civilian background she didn't have anyone to protect her, so I pitied her and went to help, I tired her hair back and smiled trying to make her see it wasn't the end of everything, and just a small bump in the road, we became friends that day and I couldn't have been happier.

Time passed and then he came between us, I remembered when she said she loved him, soon all she could talk about was him and I hated it, I was losing my best friend to a guy and it hurt, but I never said anything, instead I pretended to like him as well, hoping that the common ground between us would mend the friendship, but it backfired. She broke off are friendship for the stupid guy, so desperate to get him, I cried that day but never told her, I didn't want her to know she cared that much.

Despite the fact there friendship was no more, I couldn't help but feel it had gone no where, it was much the same but with insults and quests to prove ourselves to him, though I never cared, instead I tried to prove myself to her, prove the we deserved to be friends, prove that this guy was not worth it. It never worked.

Time passed and I changed little by little, I grew up, I trained after the academy for hours wanting to be stronger, while she continued to stalk him, the boy still wasn't worth it… but she never saw that. He came one day while I was training, he wondered about this, I always pretended to be after him, but it was all a lie. I told him he wasn't worth it. He left without a world and only one question in his mind still unanswered "Then what is worth it?"

We both graduated from the academy, I was so proud of her, though I never said it, choosing an insult to mask the congratulations on my lips, to mask the many words I wanted to tell her. We got given teams, my heart went down when she was put with him, now the obsession would increase and I may lose her all together, I pretended to be annoyed that she got on his team, in truth I hated that he was on her team, he wasn't worthy, he didn't deserve to be anywhere near her.

Everyday I trained harder and harder, hoping that such skills may protect her, hoping that such skills would prove that our friendship was more important that him, my team-mates never questioned the determination, two of them believed the lie I'd so carefully constructed, that it was for him. One did not, always too smart and too perceptive, the lie just didn't hold against such a mind. He never said anything, just smiled when I collapsed after training too tired to move.

The exams came up and I wouldn't have been happier, a chance to show her my strengths, so show her how much I've changed, how much better I am because of her, a chance to see her. When she came in the room I jumped on him, though I wished to be near her. the lie must be kept. She yelled at me and the insults started, I meant something different to what I said, my words did not match my thoughts, but I was unable to ever say it. The words that came out of my mouth was all I could do to stop the truth from spilling out, the truth must not be told, too great a chance she will run and so I kept silent, hoping to preserve what was left of our friendship.

In the forest I worried about her, I wasn't able to protect her, I wouldn't be able to help, I had to find her but didn't know where to look. The smart one smiled at me and led the team through the forest until they found her; I smiled at the smart one, thanking him. I went to help her without a second thought, this was the reason I had trained, the reason I was a ninja. The smart one dragged out our team-mate, aware that I had to do this and so the smart one was willing to help her.

I cut her hair, a smile on my lips, it was like before, before him and before the troubles, before all the lies I had put there, before the barrier that she never saw, but it too was a lie and I knew this, our friendship was still there but it would never be the same. She said it didn't change anything, we were still rivals, a rival for something I would happily give her, if I could just to see her smile. With a sad heart I left her with him and prayed to kami that she would be safe.

I looked up at the screen, my name written clearly and hers below it, my heart skipped a beat as I read it again, hoping it wasn't true. I didn't want to fight her, I wasn't sure I could. I walked down the stairs a façade on my face, a mask of all the lies, a mask of me. I said something cocky, I can't remember what, all the while I felt sick in the stomach, my façade answered all the remarks, it moved my body to dodge the shurikens aimed at me, all the while I wanted them to hit me to give me a reason to leave as fast as possible, I couldn't do this.

I woke up after the fight, my team mates worried for me, the kind one wondered why I didn't use any of the skills I'd learnt, why I didn't show just how much I'd changed in my trained, why I didn't prove that I was a ninja. Why I didn't win when it was so obvious to them that I could have. I couldn't answer him, the lie was still in change, was still what I was. The smart one answered. "She couldn't hurt her." It was the truth, I couldn't do it, everything going to waste because of the name on the board, I never wanted to hurt her, and I'd rather die before that day

When he left a part of me was happy, he was gone, he'd shown who he truly was and now she would see that he wasn't worth her, that she deserved better, that she'd come back to me. But she didn't. The obsession was still there but just below the surface, she spent all her time training so she could be stronger and bring him back, she slid further and further from me. I felt my heart leave with her, felt it ripped from my body; slowly breaking with every step she took. Her hands held my heart and she never knew, she didn't realise the fragile object I gave her and so she neglected it, it broke bit by bit. It was only a matter of time before it shattered completely.

I tried so hard to stay friends with her, I tried to pick up the pieces of what we once were, but I couldn't find them all, they were too small and too lost, I tried so hard. She never talked to me anymore, all she did was train with the Hokage or spend her time looking for clues to find him, the longer he was gone, the less I saw. She wasn't interested in being friends; she wasn't interested in me at all.

My heart shattered.

* * *

"You don't have to do this." The smart one kept telling me as I stuffed my shurikens into a bag.

"You could tell her how you feel." My head jerked up at his words, tell her? It was out of the question she didn't feel that way, she'd made it clear I was a hindrance and nothing more. I grabbed my explosive tags from the table as I answered.

"I could never do that, its obvious she doesn't return the feelings, to tell her would ruin whatever is left of our friendship and might even hurt her if she knew the truth of how I felt, what her actions meant to me."

My hands grabbed at items scattered around the room, I heard him sigh from behind me, as smart as he was, and he had no answer for me.

"Be careful." He said and pulled me into a hug. "Don't do anything stupid and don't get hurt."

He let go of me and I grabbed my bag and the last item on the bed before walking away.

We both knew it was too late for me to not be hurt, I was past healing, with a forever bleeding heart and no chance of it stopping.

* * *

Shikamaru watched her leave, her bag on her back, he doubted he would see her anytime soon, if he ever saw her again that is.

A part of him couldn't help but hate Sakura as he watched Ino step further and further away, Ino was his best friend, like a sister to him and he'd seen her slowly be destroyed by her so called best friend, he watched Sakura ignore her and undermine everything she was, he'd watched her take advantage of Ino and hate had slowly wormed its way into his heart.

He'd watch as Ino hid her truth feelings and kept up the mask, watch as she cried on the inside and no one noticed, a part of him hated the world for it, for not seeing the true Ino, the beautiful person on the inside, bleeding because of her broken soul.

She looked back at him, her ANBU mask in place, with one last look she vanished into the night.

With a broken soul she'd joined ANBU, a place for those already broken with nothing to lose, if she came out of it, she'd be different, they always were, some came out with little habits to stop the truth, other never slept a good night again, he just hoped she could make it. He wasn't sure she would, it would be hard to make it through when your reason for living barely knows you're alive.

Ino loved her more then life itself and she didn't even care about her.

With one last sigh he turned away, even with his intellect there were some problems you couldn't solve, love was beyond him, he hoped he didn't lose his friend because of it, though it felt like he just had.

The image of the black wolf mask, haunted him, so appropriate, she was in the darkness now and she would not return, her heart crushed and yet still held by a pink haired fool.

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Please review and thanks for reading


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